EVERYTHING FELT CONTROLLING
Hello blog! It's been an extremely long time since I last spew my thoughts in here. A quick update ; I am DONE with IB, all praise to Allah (I'll make a separate post on this one) and I'm currently at home waiting for a few updates from my future university.
However, today I am not as lively and joyful (?) as before.
To be frank, it has been this way for a few months. Since Covid kicked in and MCO started, things haven't been going too well for everyone.
I, on the other hand face personal problems with myself and the people around me.
I am now 19, a year away from the age I consider to be adult. Struggling with a few issues, I chose to silent my thoughts (#1 bad choice) and tell myself it will go away sooner or later.
Silencing my thoughts went on for a few months, I tried to live my life as "normal" as I could.
These problems however, seemed to grow on me, and manifested its effects on my behaviour and daily conversations. I started to wake up randomly in the middle of the nights, without a reason honestly and think about things that could have gone right.
Some nights are just a longggg, unnecessary thought process and joy-killing train of thoughts.
Regardless, I am picking up my pace don't worry! I am taking care of myself better and trying to manage the problems I face realistically and reduce the impact of damage control towards myself.
Also, no worries to anyone reading this, i am not diagnosed with anything.
Knowing myself, it's just a phase of life where every words I uttered, make decisions that heavily impacted me.
And, I'll get through this. Just as I'll get through other obstacles.
Even if it takes months.
Love, IE.
However, today I am not as lively and joyful (?) as before.
To be frank, it has been this way for a few months. Since Covid kicked in and MCO started, things haven't been going too well for everyone.
I, on the other hand face personal problems with myself and the people around me.
I am now 19, a year away from the age I consider to be adult. Struggling with a few issues, I chose to silent my thoughts (#1 bad choice) and tell myself it will go away sooner or later.
Silencing my thoughts went on for a few months, I tried to live my life as "normal" as I could.
These problems however, seemed to grow on me, and manifested its effects on my behaviour and daily conversations. I started to wake up randomly in the middle of the nights, without a reason honestly and think about things that could have gone right.
Some nights are just a longggg, unnecessary thought process and joy-killing train of thoughts.
Regardless, I am picking up my pace don't worry! I am taking care of myself better and trying to manage the problems I face realistically and reduce the impact of damage control towards myself.
Also, no worries to anyone reading this, i am not diagnosed with anything.
Knowing myself, it's just a phase of life where every words I uttered, make decisions that heavily impacted me.
And, I'll get through this. Just as I'll get through other obstacles.
Even if it takes months.
Love, IE.
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